Chaos Gives Birth to Bozo, the Brunette

   The first red flag at the hairdresser's should have been the fact the guy had too many time slots to choose from at the last minute, the second should have been that he turned my back to the mirror. I walked in a blonde and came out a bozo doo brunette and all my mind can come up with is either he is color-blind and helpless with scissors or he is a sadist toward women. Considering how hard he yanked on my hair with a comb pulling handfuls of hair out, as well as the painful shampoo followed by a cold rinse, I am leaning towards the idea that he does not like women.


   I truly blame myself. No, I am not a victim or taking any blame off the cold, giant, color-blind hairdresser. I should have held him at scissor point and forced him to rinse the goop of death out of my hair when I  discovered that he had applied it to most of my hair when I only came in to have the gray roots treated. I should have taken control of hairdresser's chair when he turned my back to the mirror and he began to beat my hair and head with his brush of toxic chemicals.  So, why didn't I? Why didn't I jump out of the chair and rip that brush out of his hand and challenge him to a duo?


  Old habits of being a maker of peace die hard. Forty-two years of conditioning and brainwashing cannot be un-learned overnight as much as we wish they were. Loving oneself requires being gentle, understanding and patient. Being your own advocate requires constant mindfulness to remain a self advocate.  Most of the time I can remain aware of myself, my need to stand up to adversity in flesh form. The Attack of Hair Monster was not one of those times. Sometimes, I feel like the rat who has successfully jumped out of the maze and fell back in for a momentary dose of yesteryear. A dose of chaos. Chaos can be extremely motivational.


   According to ancient mythology, Chaos gave birth to Gaia and Eros without a mate. Gaia (Earth) gave birth to Uranus (heaven or sky). Gaia, Eros and Uranus- All That Is. Chaos gave birth to all that is. Chaos still continues to sweep in to our lives taking charge of things and re-directing our plans for ourselves. It has been chaos that has forced me to follow my path, my purpose. I imagine it is pretty much true for most of us.  No one has ever woken up on a bright, sunny morning and said, "Wow! Life is grand. It is without pain, detours and problems. I think I will work on being a better person, making better decisions, walk with God."  No, pretty much, we have to feel pain to change. This is none of those things thrown right at you. Thank you, Chaos. Another curve ball.


   I cannot say the ditsy, brunette doo itself was and is entirely painful. Not being listened to, asked, consulted or pampered was painful. Truthfully, no one pays big money to have their hair done without expecting to be pampered, otherwise they would do it theirselves.  I would do my own doo if it were not for the pampering. What will my inner Goddess do now? She likes herself just the way God made her, but without gray roots.


    My Inner Goddess is going to ride shotgun with this strange brunette woman over to the salon next week on the one and only day that the owner is in. Before my Inner Goddess allows Bozo the Brunette to leave the house, she is going to remind her of how the Giant Bully tried to charge her for blow drying her hair as she stood at the counter with a dripping, wet fro. Just before she opens the salon door to meet the owner, Bozo the Brunette will look at a picture of herself with blonde hair giving her all the strength and couage of David.  My Inner Goddess has fallen in love with my power, my self-perseverance. She knows that if I am going to continue to become strong in myself, if I am to re-claim my power,  I have to address the "little" issues as well as the big bullies. I really like my Inner Goddess. No, I love her.