What if He Was Jesus

The young man approached me and looked me right in the eye and told me that he was hungry. He then asked for money so that he and his dog may eat. His green eyes were penetrating; his eyes were full of compassion, love, pain and hope. I was completely arrested, and yet, my entire being was moved. I was in awe and speechless and enveloped in time and space that I was aware of nothing else but him and this moment in time.

I cannot call the man a beggar, though many of those who passed us by would. There were many beggars around the Cathedral in Cordoba, Spain. Some were honest to tell you that they wanted money to buy alchohol and some begged for money for unknown reasons. Other than a young woman who grabbed my arm and begged so that she could feed her unborn child, he was the only one to directly approach anyone and why did he approach me?

I wondered why he chose me as the streets were busy and I was with my daughter and husband, both who freely give and are easily approachable. It was not possible to divert my eyes, he held my gaze and without reservation or thought I dug deep into my pocket for any money that I had. Only when I had realized that I did not have any money to give the man, would he release the hold he had on me - on my mind- on my soul. I reached for my husband's hand who was offering me the money for the incredible soul who stood before me. As the young man received the money he expressed his gratitude, not only with words, but with his eyes. His eyes. His eyes were like a window to his soul and to humanity. They welled up with tears and beyond the tears and the gratitude was a Grace, a Joy and Love.

My family and I walked through the streets and I found myself haunted by this man. I could still see him, shirtless, wearing shorts and flimsy sandals; his dog, well behaved and well taken care of. I felt compelled to find him, to give him more money and to ask where he was staying and what could we do to help. We traced our steps back through the city toward the Cathedral and we searched doorways, steps and crowds of young people looking for him. He was nowhere to be found.

Utter sadness came over me as well as shame for not giving more, for asking questions, for trying harder to help when he asked. With this shame, humility and sadness I also felt a great sense of love and forgiveness. I felt a greater need to search for opportunities to help those who were unable to reach for it. I felt a loss which was also accompanied with peace.

I may have left Cordoba, but the man has never left me. His eyes and all that he was still resides with me. The moment remains forefront in my mind and his being continues to touch mine. How divine, incredibly Devine.