Posting my blog yesterday left me with the realization that I had spent two months grieving and allowing myself to wallow in self pity as well. I also came to see that I am accountable to myself to live my life today and everyday because it is a gift. To honor this gift of Life, I would not only honor myself, but my family and God as well. I made up my mind right then and there stop feeling sorry for myself and to live- to engage- to put all of my energy, intentions and expectations into a full and complete day of activities that were productive.

I am not dead. My father will only be dead in the physical world. I should be rejoicing that he is on his journey home. Life here is an opportunity, an experience that needs action or then it would just be an existence.

I cannot believe that this realization, this accountablity made such a difference for me, but it did. Even better, it was not a one day thing. As with any acknowledgement that truly is felt in your heart and understood with all of your being, it will be with me forever.

As I make today all that I can, all that it should be.